For the 2 a.m. parent, partner, sister
Put the phone down for a second. Breathe. Then start here.
You're up at 2 a.m. searching for a way to save someone you love. Start here — plain answers, no blame, and a plan for the day they say yes.
Tell us about them once. A navigator maps the real options — what's free, what's fast — and makes the introduction the day they say yes.
Free · no obligation · you approve every step · a real person within one business day
No email · nothing stored · they'll never know you were here. In crisis? Call or text 988, any hour.
2 a.m. · unsent
draft 14
Dear —,
I'm not writing this to fight.
I know you're still in there.
I'll always pay for a roof, a meal, a ride to treatment.
I won't pay for the thing that's taking you.
The day you say yes, I'll have the number ready.
Love, always —
You don't have to send it to mean it. This site is the plan behind that letter.
- Independent — not a treatment centre
- Every fact sourced and dated
- Licensed providers only
- A real person within one business day
- 988 first, always
Tell us once — we do the calling
What actually happens when you reach out
A real person reads it.
Who answers: a navigator with lived or professional recovery experience — not a bot, not a call centre. Usually within one business day.
Then up to three options for the person you love — with the funding reality of each.
Public, subsidized, or private, labelled honestly, so nothing is a surprise partway through. Not sure what you can fund? Check coverage first.Is treatment covered? →
One warm introduction — only when you say yes.
We hand your request to the intake team you approve. Nobody else.
If the honest answer is the free public route, we say so.
And send you there instead of forcing a fit. That is the whole point of being independent.
What it costs you: nothing — ever. Matched licensed providers fund the service with flat marketing fees for introductions, never per-admission, so our only incentive is the right fit. In a crisis, skip all of this: call or text 988.
Our promises
So you don't have to take our word for it.
You approve every introduction.Nothing moves without your yes. We never pass your details to anyone you haven't agreed to.
One word ends it.Reply STOP to any message and it's the last you hear from us — no follow-up, no drip, no calls.
Never sold to data brokers or advertisers.Your details go to the matched licensed providers you approve, to answer you — that's it. Deleted once no longer needed.
No fit? We tell you.If nothing we know of genuinely fits, we say so and point you to the free public route instead of forcing one.
Crisis first, always.If you're in danger we get out of the way: 988, any hour. Help My Loved One is not an emergency service.
Free, no real name needed
Getting Them In — the full family playbook
Scripts, checklists and the exact next steps — sent to your inbox, kept nowhere else.
No email, no account, nothing stored
Read every guide and take the private reflection without giving a name or an address. The reflection runs entirely in your browser — your answers never leave the page, and nothing is sent anywhere unless you ask us to connect you.
The three C's, in plain words
You didn't cause it. You can't control it. You can't cure it. Every family-recovery tradition eventually lands on those three truths — we say them in our own words, up front, so you can set the guilt down before you pick up the plan.
A door in every province — most of it free
Every province runs a publicly funded route into addiction treatment, and the helplines will talk to worried family members before the person is ready. When you want a person, we make one warm introduction — with your consent, and only to someone you approve.
The hardest line to see
Helping the person, or helping the addiction?
Enabling is love with the wrong address — every act of it comes from care, which is exactly why it's so hard to see from inside. Twelve honest questions, no scoring you against a saint, and every answer stays on the page. It's a mirror, not a mark.
Take the private reflection →The test is never how it feels. It's what it makes easier:
- A bill paid directly to the landlordholds a line
- Cash, “just this once”feeds the addiction
- A ride to the intake appointmentholds a line
- Calling their boss with a cover storyfeeds the addiction
A conversation-starter, not therapy and not a clinical instrument.
Getting them in — there's more than one door.
The publicly funded route, the patient CRAFT approach, detox, residential, and the family's own supports — what each one is, in plain language, and how families actually use them. One truth up front: you can't force an adult into treatment in Canada. Everything that does work is here.
You matter too
You've read this whole page thinking about them. This part is about you.
Loving someone through addiction is its own kind of exhaustion — the not-sleeping, the phone-checking, the life shrunk down to someone else's crisis. There are free rooms full of people who've carried exactly this, in your town, this week.
Al-Anon, Nar-Anon & rooms for you →- You don't have to say a word at your first meeting — listening counts.
- First names only. Nobody signs you up, and nobody tells your loved one you came.
- You'll hear your own 2 a.m. in someone else's voice — usually within twenty minutes.
- The meeting is for you, not a technique to fix them. That's the burden it helps you set down.
Straight answers
Is this confidential?
Yes. You can read everything and take the private reflection without an account or an email — it runs entirely in your browser and nothing is stored or sent. Your loved one is never contacted or told you were here. If you choose to send a connection request, we ask for your express consent first, and your details go only to the licensed providers matched to your request. We never sell your information to data brokers or advertisers.
Can I force them into treatment?
For an adult in Canada: no. No form, no lawyer, no staged surprise changes that — and knowing it early saves families years of fighting the wrong battle. What is possible is more than it sounds: have the plan and the number ready before they're willing, make the first call together, and stop funding the parts of their life that make treatment avoidable. Minors and imminent-danger mental-health holds follow different rules — and a hold is not treatment.
Does it cost anything?
Using Help My Loved One is free. Much of the help itself is free too: every province funds addiction treatment through its public system, the provincial helplines cost nothing and talk to family members, and peer-support meetings like Al-Anon and Nar-Anon are free everywhere. Private programs charge their own fees, which you confirm directly with the provider — we never quote prices on your behalf.
Am I betraying them by being here?
No. Being informed isn't going behind their back — it's making the path shorter for the day they reach for it. Most families start exactly where you are: quietly, alone at a kitchen table, before anyone else knows. Nothing you read here, and nothing you answer in the reflection, is shared with anyone.
You can't make them ready. You can be ready first.
Read the playbook, take the private reflection, or let us do the finding — one warm introduction, only with your consent. If you're here because you've already lost someone: our resources page carries quiet grief supports, with nothing for sale near them.
In crisis right now? Call or text 988, any hour, free. If you fear for their life tonight, call 911.